Wednesday, January 28, 2009


I don't have any time to calm down, but for my own health, I may have to eventually stop what I am doing and give myself some time to heal.

Scott finally convinced me to go to the health center here at school to talk over some of my most recent concerns, and when I think logically, I know he's right. I should go talk to a doctor. I should tell someone licensed in medicine what I have been feeling and noticing about my body. And--he says--"knowing is always better than not knowing." Well, maybe, but I am scared of knowing, even if it is better than the unknown.

So, all this to say that I did make an appointment for Friday, I will be talking to a doctor, and I will probably spend a considerable amount of money on inconclusive tests...but, at least I am taking a step toward knowing, which you know who says is always better. I worry and cry and get my husband's shirts soggy with my tears about health problems, and I guess he is taking a stand against sogginess from now on. Because he loves me.

I enjoy what I do, and I don't want to have to give any of my academic plans away. Let's just pray for some peace to come from the appointment, if nothing else in the form of answers.

1 comment:

MamaErin said...

Oh karen I'm so sorry you have to go through that! I had heart issues up the whazoo in college, and the only conclusion the cardiologist came up with was that I had tachycardia (overactive heartbeat) due to stress. You know what APU was like. I had several different tests done that, thankfully, all came up clean. I will be praying for you! With as busy as you are, you need to find time to curl up with a book and relax =)