today I am grateful for

• a patient, forgiving, and loving husband and the beautiful match we make


• the nutritious food on our plates, fresh fruit, warm bread


• books books books, in every room, under the beds, scattered on floors, piled on tables and nightstands, filling the car trunk, hiding under stacks of old mail, weighing down backpacks


• the jobs I have shown myself capable of handling, in any situation--good or bad


• the meager but well-deserved paychecks


• the talents God has given me, and the strength, wisdom, and courage to keep trying even when I am scared or don't know what my talents will ultimately be used for


• ...literacy.

...and everything yule in between

Scott and I had a wild time rushing home to Texas and back during Christmas. Our time there was short but much appreciated and much blessed, and we wish we could have stayed longer. The trip consisted of leaving a day and a half late because of schoolwork, not completing said schoolwork, getting 1/3 of the way there only to run into icy and blizzardy conditions between Kingman and Flagstaff, having to turn south and backtrack to Phoenix to I-10, finding out that we did the right thing because I-40 was closed and not opened until Christmas eve, driving around lost for half an hour trying to find our downtown Phoenix motel and then realizing it hadn't been our fault because we had been given the wrong address, staying in a freezing room with an old run-down heater that konked out about 5 minutes after we arrived, waking up after far too few hours of sleep to drive all the way through Arizona, New Mexico, and Texas to get home late on Christmas Eve-eve.

THEN finding out after hearing a horrible sound driving home from my sister's on Christmas day that the so-called "oil" in my oil reservoir was actually transmission fluid (thanks for that, mechanics who did the last oil change, we really appreciate finding this out AFTER driving 2000 miles in inclement weather, you could have been the death of us and my little trooper car, Priscilla Paige O'Dell-Strovas).

$$ later and a merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all, we said sad goodbyes to our families (the hardest for me was saying bye to my sister). We drove home (only having to break into one relative's house for a place to stay on the way home--btw, sorry about that). We made it back to California, obviously stopping at In-N-Out Burger on the way into town because we had been without it for two weeks, and then started an intensive French course one day later. TWO weeks, $500, and 30 in-class hours later, Scott and I had both passed our French reading exams after never having studied French in our lives until 2009. (we're awesome, did I mention?) I can't speak more than 10 phrases in French, but boy can I read it!

I started teaching again in the midst of French craziness, but we didn't start our own classes until this week. Technically, both of my classes were cancelled this week, so I don't start until next week. I am excited to start my third job soon. That's right, this semester I have taken on three jobs in addition to my own coursework and trying to pass another language exam (this time, it's Latin). I'm nervous but equally excited, and I'm ready for the challenge. So, if you see me in the next few weeks and wonder why school just started and I already look exhausted, crazy-eyed, on the verge of tears or insanity...it's okay. It's just me. C'est la vie. Hugs help. :)

10 lords aleaping

So, I'm trying to keep up this maddening pace of finals, grading, seminar papers, etc.

Here's today:
wake up and realize the hubby and I have both been pressing snooze for about an hour
bake my famous spicy chicken
prepare chicken and veggie stew for crockpot
submit final grades for both classes
finish Hair paper
find my enormous stack of Wilkie Collins articles
sample stew, say "damn, I'm good"
drive to school, with only a very brief Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf detour
work at writing center 7 p.m.-10 p.m.
make huge pot of coffee
start working on Wilkie Collins paper for 19th cent. seminar
wallow in self-pity
drink last sip of coffee
wish I were at home in bed

tired

As I sit here at the library typing my seminar papers for this semester, I can’t help but wonder at how I made it this far without crashing and burning.

Simply, I’m tired.

I’m trying to hold down multiple jobs, all in this crazy sub-culture called academia, trying to complete three graduate seminars, and trying to be the perfect wife (which I’m slowing discovering is a fantasy). Because I’m torn—yanked, prodded, pulled, you get the picture—in so many directions, I’m not really doing any of them justice. I do not get to spend enough quality time with my husband. I do not keep a clean house. I do not have a perky get-up-and-face-the-day attitude in the mornings. I do not love my jobs as much as I appreciate having them.

No, unfortunately, our townhouse is a mess. This isn’t because Scott or I are particularly messy people, but because we are so busy that we are never home. And, when we are home, we are usually only there long enough to throw down our backpacks, books, and papers, change clothes, pick up another stack of books and papers, and run out the door again. When we finally collapse with each other at night, we have some amazing moments of solidarity and companionship. And then we sleep far too little before we have to get up and do it all over again. Ah, grad school.

Scott has been my rock for the past four years, and every part of me wants to make him proud. I never would have been emotionally stable enough for grad school without him standing behind me, reminding me of my strengths and cuteness. I want so badly to excel at my current jobs and graduate studies so that, once we (if we?) finally finish, I’ll be able to get a job that is both financially and emotionally satisfying. That way we’ll be able to appreciate each other more and appreciate all the work we’ve been killing ourselves for out here. We’ll be able to look back and know that these hard years of our Ph.D.s were 100% worth it, no regrets, no what ifs.

Here’s my grateful list for today:

• husband’s fuzzy pajama pants
• yummy cheese and cracker snacks
• other harried-looking students in the library, proving that I’m not alone in the world
• my CGU partners in crime, Jan, Stefani, and Sharone
• Holiday Blend coffee
• hair long enough to braid so that I don’t have to think of anything original to do with it
• free food in the library
• husband’s warm hugs after chastising me for wearing his fuzzy pajama pants
• books about hair, black hair, long hair, African American hair, literary hair, kinky hair, political hair, and Janie’s hair
• our nice apartment manager who keeps trying to give me free lemons
• the thought of sleep tonight, however short it may be

I’m almost halfway through one paper, with one more to go after this. Earlier this semester, Sharone and I turned in our 80-page Jazzwomen project, which was half our grade for our Jazz Transdisciplinary course. I’m glad I am finished with that class and only have to complete two more. Two more. Two more. Two more.

To be continued…

I love my family!

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

elf-esteem

KarenBeth is an elf: http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/HmQX3nKSkR SIftKBDsPv.

Just trust me and click the button. :D You'll laugh so hard you'll cry!

(I'd like to thank Jan, Stefani, Sharone, and Scott who graciously and unknowingly lended their mug shots to this fine work of art. I'd also like to thank my mother who didn't institutionalize me even when she knew I was a little crazy. Finally, I would like to thank the Academy...no, don't play the music, wait, wait, waaaaiiiii---)

God's love

I'm trying to pace myself with posting my students' funny sentences, but the truth is that they are just too good to keep to myself. The following are laugh-out-louds, head scratchers, or just plain bad:

"David also worked very closely with Robert Moffat, who arrived a few weeks after him. He had a daughter named Mary and they were deeply in love. They got married on January 2, 1945; they had four boys, and a daughter who died on the mission field due to sickness."

Okay, besides the correct use of a semi-colon here, there is not much about this sentence that is good! Of course the daughter died, if the diction is to be trusted! My student commited the unforgivable crime of creating an incestuous relationship for unsuspecting missionary workers!

"These feelings were all about to be reversed in an event that would change his lives."

Hmmm...just for the record, exactly how many lives does this man have?

"According to The Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy, Augustine was raised in a Christian atmospheric home."

Well, if The Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy says it, it must be true!

And my personal favorite...

"Anyone can come out of the deepest depths and God's love reaches every corner of every bottom."

Yes, indeed.

Oh, the funny just won't stop

from a student's recent essay on Sojourner Truth...

"Like her mother and many slaves had done, Isabella watched as her children were torn out of her fingerprints and sold to other farms."

First of all...ouch! Second of all...thesaurus much? Ahhhh. I just LOVE this time of the semester.

My friend Timmy

Anyone who can look this adorable this often deserves some web recognition. I miss him...

Here's Timothy Elijah, the cutest little squirt in my entire family.

And here's the handsome little dude after a hair cut.


And here's Yoda trying to impersonate my nephew for Halloween.

And here's how big he was when Scott and I moved to California (3-4 wks old).

Awww, Little T and Auntie KB!

Here's to all out there who miss their loved ones...

arrrrump pa pa pummm

KB’s Christmas (gift) Wishes

1. The Declaration by Gemma Malley (book)
2. Coffee Shop by Landon Pigg (CD)
3. We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things by Jason Mraz (CD)
4. Season Three House (DVD)
5. Hideaway by The Weepies (CD)
6. Sterling Silver earrings (hoops or studs)
7. lap pillow with a hard top to write on
8. sitting pillow (perhaps something like this?)
9. lip gloss or lip balms that smell like fruit or baked goods
10. lotion or candles that smell like baked goods
11. an empty spice rack
12. a muffin cookbook
13. flavored coffee (especially Candy Cane Peppermint from Day Break Coffee Roasters in Lubbock)
14. bookends
15. soft pajama pants and/or fuzzy socks
16. mints of any kind
17. sparkly bobby pin hairclips
18. colored ink or gel pens
19. flavored hot cocoa
20. wine stoppers

November 13 additions:
21. Die Hard collection
22. Season 3 of 24