God's love

I'm trying to pace myself with posting my students' funny sentences, but the truth is that they are just too good to keep to myself. The following are laugh-out-louds, head scratchers, or just plain bad:

"David also worked very closely with Robert Moffat, who arrived a few weeks after him. He had a daughter named Mary and they were deeply in love. They got married on January 2, 1945; they had four boys, and a daughter who died on the mission field due to sickness."

Okay, besides the correct use of a semi-colon here, there is not much about this sentence that is good! Of course the daughter died, if the diction is to be trusted! My student commited the unforgivable crime of creating an incestuous relationship for unsuspecting missionary workers!

"These feelings were all about to be reversed in an event that would change his lives."

Hmmm...just for the record, exactly how many lives does this man have?

"According to The Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy, Augustine was raised in a Christian atmospheric home."

Well, if The Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy says it, it must be true!

And my personal favorite...

"Anyone can come out of the deepest depths and God's love reaches every corner of every bottom."

Yes, indeed.

Oh, the funny just won't stop

from a student's recent essay on Sojourner Truth...

"Like her mother and many slaves had done, Isabella watched as her children were torn out of her fingerprints and sold to other farms."

First of all...ouch! Second of all...thesaurus much? Ahhhh. I just LOVE this time of the semester.

These snozberries taste like snozberries!

My husband is my main source of laughter, which is sweet, I know, but what I love the most is that the jokes have not gotten old. In fact, we laugh about the "same old stuff" more and more. I love that his belly button lint and my premarital pink socks continue to be sources of hilarity. And I love that he gets frustrated with the avocado every single time. I love that.

My students--on the other hand--crack me up in other ways. In spelling ways. Here are two examples of laugh-out-louds:

"Unhappy couples get caught in the viscous cycle of divorce."

"Many types of symbolism in Bram Stoker's Dracula are berried in the text."

You see, dear reader, I have a wonderful life. I have a job for which I am paid to laugh, cry, and grit my teeth right alongside the kiddoes (only they don't know why I'm doing it). And that's the best part.