listies

I have finally compiled my read-a-thon list, which is so exciting that I think I might have to do a little dance before typing any more...

*long pause*

Allllrighty then. Back to business!

My read-a-thon list is quite awesome. Starting at 5 a.m. on Saturday morning, I will be reading...

"Non-negotiable…" selections

Much Ado about Nothing by William Shakespeare—for my Shakespeare class

Antony and Cleopatra by William Shakespeare—for my Shakespeare class

The Devil's Dominion: Magic and Religion in Early New England by Richard Godbeer—for my American History course (I'll probably add this to my non-fiction five challenge list)

And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie—for the Intro to Lit course that I teach. My students start discussing this book on Tuesday…

Henry V by William Shakespeare—for my big ‘ole paper due in a month (blah)

The Moonstone by Wilkie Collins—I have to write a paper on this novel before school is out to finish my incomplete in my last nineteenth-cent. British lit course. I should re-read it or at least get a good chunk re-read this weekend.

Just for me, but still academic-y.

The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne—because it’s soooo good.

Hard Times by Charles Dickens—for my Classics Challenge J

Little Dorrit by Charles Dickens—because Dickens is my homeboy

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen—because I’m the only one (and by “one” I mean mushy book-crazy girl) I know who hasn’t read it.

For fun, for ME!!!

All Cooked Up Elvis Cookbook—to make the read-a-thon hip shakin’ good (for Non-fiction five challenge)

Being Perfect by Anna Quindlen

The Messenger by Lois Lowry

Dr. Dredd’s Wagon of Wonders by Bill Brittain

Does my list make you happy too? Enough to dance?

Here's another list. It's things I've done in the past 24 hours. Lots of numbers.

I have...

1. graded 39 essays, 4-7 pages each
2. slept 2 hours
3. taught 2 classes
4. caused 2 students to cry
5. written about 15 emails for the transdisciplinary Text course
6. received my big Amazon box in the mail with 7 new books!
7. danced 1 happy dance
8. spent about 1 hour w/ hubby
9. eaten 1/2 of an enchilada that I brought home from El Ranchero a few nights ago. YUM.
10. compiled my weekend's read-a-thon list
11. danced 1 more happy dance
12. made a list on my blog with 12 items

And the answer is "yes" if you have asked, "is she going nuts?"

Spring "un"-break

Scott and I have had a busy Spring Break, especially since neither of us are actually taking a break. I'm still teaching at my other college that will have a later break, and we're both doing a ton of researching and writing for our semester projects and papers. Just once, I wish I could have a decent vacation. But, I am grateful for a week off of school and tutoring, and I just hope that I can get everything done in time to at least enjoy the weekend a tiny bit. I think I'm going to get a massage. :)

My research is really interesting right now. I'm working on reading a series of New England Puritan sermons from about 1650-1750. I'm tracing the metaphor of death as sleep through these sermons and trying to form some of my own conclusions about how the Puritan settlers' ideas of both death and sleep were changing as a result of these publications. There's a really fascinating dichotomy that I've found in the way they talk about the death of believers as a kind of sleep, while the death of the unholy was a restless prison. I am hoping that--eventually, and after much more research--I'll be able to make some connections between Puritan beliefs of death and sleep and my former Gothic lit arguments of sleep as a fragment of death. I would love to write my dissertation on sleep in British literature, and I'm glad I was able to find something in this American History seminar that at least tangentially relates to my interests. I only wish I didn't have to read my sleep sermons in Special Collections! They have so few hours, and it's impossible to get comfortable and settle in with a book.

On the other side of things, I'm working on a text edit of Shakespeare's Henry V, reading many books all at the same time, grading rather large stacks of essays, and trying to keep my many employers happy.

In my meager spare time (or as the Puritans would write, my meagere sparre Tyme), I'm thinking about how crazy this summer will be since we have two weddings in Texas to go to (be in?) and we are also taking a trip with my sister, her hubby, and their toddler to Tennessee and Georgia. I am soooo psyched for this trip! But, I can't think about it toooo much right now or else I won't want to do any work at all.

Love to the fam. <3 KB

10 lords aleaping

So, I'm trying to keep up this maddening pace of finals, grading, seminar papers, etc.

Here's today:
wake up and realize the hubby and I have both been pressing snooze for about an hour
bake my famous spicy chicken
prepare chicken and veggie stew for crockpot
submit final grades for both classes
finish Hair paper
find my enormous stack of Wilkie Collins articles
sample stew, say "damn, I'm good"
drive to school, with only a very brief Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf detour
work at writing center 7 p.m.-10 p.m.
make huge pot of coffee
start working on Wilkie Collins paper for 19th cent. seminar
wallow in self-pity
drink last sip of coffee
wish I were at home in bed

tired

As I sit here at the library typing my seminar papers for this semester, I can’t help but wonder at how I made it this far without crashing and burning.

Simply, I’m tired.

I’m trying to hold down multiple jobs, all in this crazy sub-culture called academia, trying to complete three graduate seminars, and trying to be the perfect wife (which I’m slowing discovering is a fantasy). Because I’m torn—yanked, prodded, pulled, you get the picture—in so many directions, I’m not really doing any of them justice. I do not get to spend enough quality time with my husband. I do not keep a clean house. I do not have a perky get-up-and-face-the-day attitude in the mornings. I do not love my jobs as much as I appreciate having them.

No, unfortunately, our townhouse is a mess. This isn’t because Scott or I are particularly messy people, but because we are so busy that we are never home. And, when we are home, we are usually only there long enough to throw down our backpacks, books, and papers, change clothes, pick up another stack of books and papers, and run out the door again. When we finally collapse with each other at night, we have some amazing moments of solidarity and companionship. And then we sleep far too little before we have to get up and do it all over again. Ah, grad school.

Scott has been my rock for the past four years, and every part of me wants to make him proud. I never would have been emotionally stable enough for grad school without him standing behind me, reminding me of my strengths and cuteness. I want so badly to excel at my current jobs and graduate studies so that, once we (if we?) finally finish, I’ll be able to get a job that is both financially and emotionally satisfying. That way we’ll be able to appreciate each other more and appreciate all the work we’ve been killing ourselves for out here. We’ll be able to look back and know that these hard years of our Ph.D.s were 100% worth it, no regrets, no what ifs.

Here’s my grateful list for today:

• husband’s fuzzy pajama pants
• yummy cheese and cracker snacks
• other harried-looking students in the library, proving that I’m not alone in the world
• my CGU partners in crime, Jan, Stefani, and Sharone
• Holiday Blend coffee
• hair long enough to braid so that I don’t have to think of anything original to do with it
• free food in the library
• husband’s warm hugs after chastising me for wearing his fuzzy pajama pants
• books about hair, black hair, long hair, African American hair, literary hair, kinky hair, political hair, and Janie’s hair
• our nice apartment manager who keeps trying to give me free lemons
• the thought of sleep tonight, however short it may be

I’m almost halfway through one paper, with one more to go after this. Earlier this semester, Sharone and I turned in our 80-page Jazzwomen project, which was half our grade for our Jazz Transdisciplinary course. I’m glad I am finished with that class and only have to complete two more. Two more. Two more. Two more.

To be continued…

These snozberries taste like snozberries!

My husband is my main source of laughter, which is sweet, I know, but what I love the most is that the jokes have not gotten old. In fact, we laugh about the "same old stuff" more and more. I love that his belly button lint and my premarital pink socks continue to be sources of hilarity. And I love that he gets frustrated with the avocado every single time. I love that.

My students--on the other hand--crack me up in other ways. In spelling ways. Here are two examples of laugh-out-louds:

"Unhappy couples get caught in the viscous cycle of divorce."

"Many types of symbolism in Bram Stoker's Dracula are berried in the text."

You see, dear reader, I have a wonderful life. I have a job for which I am paid to laugh, cry, and grit my teeth right alongside the kiddoes (only they don't know why I'm doing it). And that's the best part.

Red, White, and Blue

It's been a while since I've written, so I wanted to let you all know that I have survived the spring semester and am joyfully starting summertime. I finished my Gothic papers (yes, there were two of them that I had to do. My major seminar paper plus a rewrite from a close reading that I wrote earlier in the semester). I turned them in at 4:59 last Thursday. :) Whew! I couldn't have done it without Scott's help. We were driving around in crazy flash floods trying to make it everywhere on time (including out to Azusa so that I could sign my new contract for the fall classes I'm teaching). I haven't received my Gothic grade yet, but I got my American Film Music grade and my Women in Love Film Adaptation grade--good news for both!

Once that was done, after a sufficient amount of recovery time, Scott and I started cleaning like maniacs to get our apartment back in shape. We moved all the furniture and swept and mopped. We clorox bleached every surface in the kitchen and bathroom. We unloaded tons of boxes and put them in our storage. We vacuumed our rugs, carpets, mats, couches, and chairs. We did about 6 loads of laundry, in addition to the 4 Scott had done earlier in the week. Four of those loads were sheets and towels, and now we feel very fresh again! We have our pictures up on the walls, and although we're still in the process with that, at least we have our engagement ones up the way we want them. The office and the bedroom and my desk area are still "iffy" as far as begin organized goes, but they are way better than before! We cleaned so much that we just wanted to collapse when we were done. So...

In the evenings we've been watching season 2 of 24. Now, I have never seen any of these shows on TV, so do NOT tell me anything. I don't want to know ANYTHING. We received season 1 as a gift from Christy and Nick for Christmas, and we watched that very quickly. I got season 2 for Scott for his birthday, and now that our papers are done, we can finally watch it. It's fun! There are parts of the show that are just awful, but everything with Jack makes up for it 200%.

Scott and I are also in a "let's try to get back in shape" mindset since we've gained weight this year. Graduate school is not rear-end friendly, so we're really going to try to do better about being more active. We bought fun new tennis rackets (mine is AWESOME, it's a women's racket with purply flowery designs, and Scott's is red and black...more about the rackets later). We're going to sign up for lessons and lose some of these doctoral pounds!! I am kind of nervous since I'm not very coordinated, but I've played "baby" tennis before. This is something I really want to do, though.

Speaking of doctoral pounds, we probably gained a few more over the last few days. We finally got Scott's grill put together, so we have been having tons of fun barbequing. We had Claire and Dave over for Memorial Day (GO USA!!), and the food was so yummy. We had cheddar wurst hot dogs, hamburgers, a big ole' fresh salad, chips and salsa, beers, margaritas, and...(drum roll please) my freshly made sour cream and berries pie! It tastes just like a cheese cake, and we topped it with a homemade blackberry/raspberry/strawberry/blueberry topping. Oh MAN. I am definitely getting my pie fix this month! We had a lot of fun with Claire and Dave. It's always so great to hang with them and spend some time together. We watched Stranger Than Fiction after dinner. By far, it's my favorite Will Ferrell movie. I loathe his stupid ones.

I got the postmodern syllabus for the class I'll be taking in the fall. I am really looking forward to some 20th century stuff. It's been too long! And as soon as I get my Gothic grade, I'll email Redfield for his syllabus, too. I don't want to bother him, since he probably hasn't even finished grading my stuff for this semester! Plus, I'm overwhelmed as it is. BOOKS!!!!!!!!!

Scott and I start our new jobs at the Digital Libraries tomorrow. We are so happy to be working together. It will be good job training and experience, plus we'll get to spend more time together and carpool--two awesome things--and we have heard that we'll be getting a large amount of hours. I have so many more things to talk about, since it's been awhile, but let me try to finish quickly.

Scott and I finished 101 Dalmations, and we're now reading The Wizard of Oz. On my own, I'm also reading George Eliot's Middlemarch (since Sharone convinced me to give it one more try), Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice, Ralph Ellison's Invisible Man, and Francis Burney's Evelina (for the paper I'm writing for my incomplete course--I need to get that done!). I am ALWAYS the kind of girl that has 10 books going at once, so this is actually a short list for me! Of course, it will get much longer very soon, now that I have the pomo syllabus. Eeeeshk.

I hope everyone had a wonderfully red, white, and blue day yesterday. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go relax on my last free day before I start my new job.

Gothic Paper, pg 17

Page 17 of my Gothic lit paper is really scary. That's where I am right now. Page 17. I think that the reason I've had so much trouble getting through it is the subject matter--not a fun one to talk about. I'm writing on the gothic trope of women who are attacked in their sleep or in their bedrooms, and these attacks come from anywhere from pirate ghosts to vampires or just plain rapacious men. It's a terrifying subject, but one that has surprisingly little academic criticism as of yet. Everyone talks about the sexual nature of the attacks, but not the "sleepy" nature of the attacks. These women are asleep for some reason, and I have to figure it out why the authors made this such a usable tool for evoking fear. It's my job (or, at least, I've made it my job until I get done writing this paper) to figure out all sorts of scary things. My theory is that the gothic women should have had more caffeine.

I'm trying to do it without looking over my shoulder too much. I get spooked. But Scott is here to protect me. And keep me awake.

fizzle

My brain may fizzle if I stare at a computer screen any more than necessary today, so this will be a short one...

I missed my deadline for my Gothic paper, and my film one is also due Monday, so I have a LOT to do this weekend. I was promised a breakfast excursion by my loving husband last night, but I've been up for three hours and he is still asleep. :( To wake, or not to wake? That is my eternal question!

I am excited for all of my friends graduating this weekend. Congratulations! I still have at least three years to go before I'll be Doctor Karen Beth Strovas, Ph.D. [ enter big sigh here ]

Okay, back to my papers.

starting over

Well, hello there, it's me--KB. I've taken a lot of medicine, a LOT, over the past three days, so I'm very loopy at the moment. I'm also on my second roll of toilet paper (aka substitute Kleenex). About an hour ago, I started over on my Gothic paper. Started completely over. I was really sucking on the path that I was on, so I am taking a new angle. Same topic, new angle. I have a ton of good research done, and now I have a new plan to go with my new angle. So, as long as my angle doesn't screw me over, we should be okay.

Things that make me happy even though I'm deathly ill:
1. hyperbole
2. my new hot pink mini-teapot
3. husband rescuing me from the library at 3:30 in the morning when I wasn't strong enough to get home by myself

sicko

So, I'm sitting here with my sexy sexy roll of toilet paper since we're out of kleenexes. Yes, boys and girls, I am sick. Scott caught a cold, and then I caught his cold, and both of our immune systems are shot because of this semester, so it's hard to get over them. Might I just add one more word? Achhoooo.

I'm having a very hard time getting going on my Gothic paper, but at least I have a few pages. I need to work like crazy today, but I'm just not feeling well enough to think straight.

Also, it was about one in the morning when I realized I hadn't called my mom back in Texas to wish her a happy mother's day. I'm the worst daughter in the world. I guess I'll be calling tonight... :( It's been a rough weekend, and now it's Monday. Joy!

One down...

I turned in a huge paper yesterday, one of the longest I've ever written for something that wasn't intended to be an article or part of my thesis. My film music seminar professor required a 20-25 page 11 pt. font (how weird is that??) essay, and mine ended up being 31 pages. Whew! The amazing thing was that I typed about half of it within 24 hours of it being due. I am tiiiired. I can't believe it's over. That was one of the best classes I've ever taken at the graduate level. I really enjoyed it!!

I took last night to recover, of course.

Now it's full speed ahead for my next paper--one for my Gothic and Romantic Literature seminar. I think this one is supposed to be 20 pgs. I have a really good idea and it's been brewing and stewing in my brain for about a month now. Unfortunately, I haven't had time to do a lot of research because I've been working so hard on my Sunset Boulevard paper! But, I digress...I am looking forward to getting something coherent on paper, because it hasn't happened yet. However, I think I have a good idea, so we're just hanging on to that for dear life and seeing what comes from it.

We like to speak in first person plural today.

Scott interviewed for the same job I did a few weeks ago. It looks like he'll be hired there, too! We'll be working for the digital libraries office at CUC and trying to earn some money this summer instead of spending it. (Fingers crossed!) It was a blessing to find a job for both of us that is so close to where we live. (and pardon me for being a nerd, but I LOVE LIBRARIES.)

I am so exhausted that I might just cry a little today, but at least I've gotten some things done while pondering that which is Gothic.
1. washed a kitchen full of dishes that had accumulated for the past week while Scott and I wrote our film music papers
2. boiled potatoes and then made spicy/cheesy mashed potatoes for tonight's dinner
3. steamed some ground beef in our big fat steamer that we got for our wedding...again, for tonight's dinner (enchiladas)
4. cleaned kitchen
5. sorted some laundry (which was wishful thinking, because who knows when I'll have time to do laundry!)
6. juiced watermelon, pineapple, apple, grapefruit, and carrots for a healthy snack...thanks to my handy power juicer and the incessant fear that I should be eating more fresh stuff.
7. wrapped Scott's b-day presents for the big day tomorrow!!

I feel like I've spent a huge percentage of the day in my kitchen, but I guess not spending ANY time in the kitchen this past week evens things out. I need coffee now. And I need a brilliant idea to shoot through my mind so that I can write a masterful, original, breathtaking thesis sentence sometime tonight.

update

Only 47 more pages to go this semester!

Talk about a frantic intellectual workout...

My saving grace today is that Redfield is taking our Gothic/Romantic lit class out for beer and nachos while we talk about Dracula. I need little happy moments like that to keep me from going bonkers.

you win some, you lose some...

P.S. I finished grading on Saturday--yippee!!

P.S.S. I still have 55 pages to type before my semester is over...

Joni Mitchell, IHOP, and another long day

I love discovering something new about someone whom I've known for quite awhile. I love that I'm not the only one who was hooked on Ally McBeal in high school. I love IHOP coffee. I love eating breakfast for dinner.

I do not love rude IHOP servers who talk bad about their customers.

I love pushing through page breaks when I'm writing papers.

I do not love the frigid air in the library.

I love Joni Mitchell's voice. It's so raw and original. And beautiful. Not over-produced.

I do not love realizing immediately after making a large salad that we have no salad dressing.

I love my homemade spicy ranch salad dressing.

I do not love writing papers.

I love creating knowledge.